- *BOTOX*: I realize we’ve touched on this previously, but let’s consider this again. Paralyzing your face muscles with toxins related to food poisoning, for the sole purpose of reducing wrinkles. Hmmm. Sure, sounds reasonable…for a neurotic, self-obsessed princess who wears “Hottie” baby T’s.
*WAXING EYEBROWS*: I had a friend who religiously had her brows waxed and would moan how shaggy and unkempt she was when she went longer than 15 seconds without an appointment with the eyebrow-ripper. Intrigued by her devotion, I actually tried it once. Expecting a magical transformation, I eagerly grabbed the mirror once the waxing was over, and behold…no perceptible difference whatsoever! Unless your eyebrows closely resemble wooly caterpillars mating above your eyes, I seriously doubt this beauty ritual is necessary.
*PINK OR RED EYESHADOW*: Redness around the eyes is typically a symptom of a hangover, lack of sleep, illness, pink-eye or other disease of the mucous membranes. This is the look you are going for?
*TALON FINGERNAILS*: Clearly a status symbol of not needing to wash dishes, type, make sudden movements, or perform other menial tasks requiring full use and control of your hands…they are certainly attention-getting, but they instantly conjure images of LaFonda from Napoleon Dynamite for me. Being a working gal, I simply can’t get past the enormous impracticality of it.
That was just to get us started. What is on your “WTF?” list of beauty trends or practices?
*to be continued!*